I have spent years working with women in my coaching practice, and I have heard some version of the same conversation more times than I can count. A woman sits across from me, genuinely loving her partner, trying everything she can think of to be a good girlfriend or wife — being supportive, being affectionate, expressing her feelings, asking how he’s doing — and yet something is still off. He seems distant. He doesn’t fully open up. The closeness she’s working toward keeps slipping away, and she can’t understand why.
When I first came across the What Men Secretly Want program by James Bauer, I was skeptical in the way I always am when I see a digital relationship course marketed with a bold promise. I have reviewed a lot of these programs. Most of them offer familiar advice dressed up in new packaging. But this what men secretly want review is different, because after working through the material, I found something that actually deserves a serious look — a framework that addresses a dynamic I genuinely see playing out in real relationships, and which most women have never been explicitly taught to understand.
This is my complete, coach-reviewed assessment of James Bauer’s program. I purchased and worked through the full guide so you can make an informed decision before you spend a dollar. I will walk you through what’s inside, explain the Respect Principle in real terms, share what buyers actually report, give you an honest verdict on whether it’s worth the money, and tell you clearly who this program will help — and who should look elsewhere.
What Men Secretly Want Review: My Honest Assessment
Let me give you my bottom line up front, before we get into the details.
What Men Secretly Want is a legitimate, well-constructed digital program built around one central insight: men experience respect and love as deeply connected emotions, and most women have never been taught this. The program is not groundbreaking relationship science in an academic sense, but it translates a genuinely useful psychological concept into practical, everyday communication tools that women can actually use.
It is not a magic solution, and it is not right for every situation. The content is relatively concise — 137 pages of core material — which some buyers find insufficient for the $47 price point. There are no videos beyond the Q&A bonus content, and the production design is plain. If you are looking for a cinematic learning experience with interactive modules, this is not that.
But if you are a woman who has been puzzling over why the man in your life seems to pull away no matter what you do, and if you are genuinely open to reconsidering how you communicate respect and admiration to the men in your life, this program offers something genuinely useful. My overall rating is 4.2 out of 5.
TL;DR — Key Takeaways
| My Rating | 4.2 / 5 |
| Creator | James Bauer (relationship coach, Be Irresistible brand) |
| Core Concept | The Respect Principle — men need to feel respected as much as loved |
| Format | 137-page PDF eBook + MP3 audio + bonus PDF + Q&A video |
| Price | ~$47 one-time (digital access via ClickBank) |
| Guarantee | 60-day ClickBank money-back guarantee, no questions asked |
| ClickBank Gravity | 10.8 (Marriage & Relationships category) |
| Best For | Women who feel their partner is emotionally distant or pulling away despite their efforts |
| Not Ideal For | Relationships with serious trust issues, abuse, or where professional therapy is needed |
| Verdict | Solid framework, honest limitations — worth trying at $47 with the 60-day guarantee |
Ready to explore it for yourself? Every purchase is backed by ClickBank’s standard 60-day money-back guarantee — full refund, no questions, if you’re not satisfied.
What Is What Men Secretly Want?
What Men Secretly Want is a digital relationship program published by the Be Irresistible brand (operated by Blink Publishing LLC) and authored by relationship coach James Bauer. It was created to address a specific and common problem: women who are already doing “everything right” in a relationship — being loving, supportive, and emotionally present — and still finding that their partner seems disengaged, emotionally unavailable, or reluctant to fully commit.
The program’s promise is built on a single insight that James Bauer calls the Respect Principle: men experience the feeling of being respected as nearly equivalent to the feeling of being loved. Most women, Bauer argues, have never been taught this, because women tend to prioritize emotional connection and affection. When a woman focuses on expressing love and support without paying equal attention to communicating respect and admiration, she can unintentionally create a gap — and this gap is what causes many men to emotionally withdraw or become commitment-avoidant.
What You Get
When you purchase What Men Secretly Want through ClickBank, you receive immediate digital access to:
- The main 137-page PDF eBook — the core guide organized into nine chapters
- An MP3 audio version — the full guide in audio format for listening on the go
- “The Art of Intrigue” bonus PDF — a supplementary guide focused on deepening his interest and engagement
- “The Active Ingredients of Love” bonus — a compiled framework drawn from research on successful long-term couples
- A Q&A video — James Bauer answering common situational questions from women who have used the program
There is no physical product. Everything is delivered digitally through ClickBank’s standard delivery system, and you can access it immediately after purchase. The PDF is downloadable and printable.
The program is designed for women in existing relationships who want to deepen connection and commitment, as well as women who are dating and want to understand male emotional psychology before getting into a serious relationship. It is not an ex-back program, and it is not targeted at repairing relationships that have already broken down — for those situations, see our His Secret Obsession review or an ex-back program like The Ex Factor.
Who Is James Bauer? James Bauer What Men Secretly Want
Understanding who created a program like this matters, especially in the dating and relationship space where credentials can be hard to verify and where plenty of unqualified voices operate under impressive-sounding titles.
James Bauer is a relationship coach and the author of two widely distributed ClickBank programs: What Men Secretly Want and His Secret Obsession. Both are published through the Be Irresistible brand. He is not a licensed therapist, psychologist, or clinical counselor — he makes no such claim. He positions himself as a practical relationship coach who has spent years working directly with clients navigating dating and relationship challenges.
One thing worth noting: “James Bauer” is a pen name, a fact that is openly disclosed in the company’s own terms of service at the Be Irresistible website. This is not unusual in the relationship coaching space, where many practitioners publish under a pen name for branding or privacy reasons. The content of the program is what matters, and the work stands or falls on its own merits regardless of what name is on the cover.
What comes through clearly in reading his material is a background in relationship psychology and a particular focus on male emotional psychology — specifically on the patterns men display around commitment, emotional withdrawal, and what triggers them to become deeply invested in a relationship. His writing style is practical rather than academic: he draws on observed patterns from coaching work, references research where relevant (notably citing Shaunti Feldhahn’s well-known study on male emotional needs), and keeps the focus squarely on actionable behavior changes rather than abstract theory.
His other major program, His Secret Obsession, focuses on the Hero Instinct — a different but related framework about men’s need to feel needed and valued as protectors. Read together, the two programs present a coherent model of male emotional psychology. If you want a side-by-side of the two, see our full comparison of What Men Secretly Want vs His Secret Obsession.
James Bauer describes his coaching philosophy as grounded in the idea that understanding how men actually experience relationships — rather than assuming they experience it the same way women do — is the foundation of real, lasting attraction. He argues that most relationship advice women receive is written from a female emotional framework and applied to men as if the framework is universal. The Respect Principle is his core correction to that misapplication.
The Respect Principle — The Core Concept Explained
This is the intellectual heart of the program, and it deserves a real explanation rather than a sales-page summary.
The Respect Principle is James Bauer’s framework for understanding a specific, often-overlooked emotional need that men carry into relationships. The core claim is this: men experience respect and love as nearly inseparable. For a man, feeling genuinely respected — seen as capable, adequate, and valued — is not separate from feeling loved. It is part of what love feels like to him. When that respect is absent or undermined, what he experiences emotionally is close to what he would feel if he were not loved at all.
The research Bauer cites to anchor this is Shaunti Feldhahn’s widely referenced study in which a large sample of men were presented with a forced choice: if you had to choose between the two, would you rather feel unloved or disrespected? Approximately 74 percent of men chose to feel unloved rather than disrespected — a result that surprised many of Feldhahn’s female readers, for whom the idea of feeling unloved is typically far more painful than feeling disrespected. This divergence, Bauer argues, is the root of a persistent communication gap between men and women in relationships.
Women tend to lead with love — with warmth, emotional support, affection, and nurturing. These are genuinely valuable things, and most men appreciate them. But if the expression of love comes without an equally clear expression of admiration, respect, and confidence in the man — or worse, if it’s accompanied by subtle signals that undermine his sense of competence or adequacy — the man can feel, beneath the surface, emotionally empty in the relationship. He can’t always articulate why. He may not even be fully conscious of the dynamic. But he pulls back.
What Disrespect Actually Looks Like in Practice
One of the most valuable parts of the program is where Bauer gets specific about what women do that registers as disrespect to men, even when the woman has no disrespectful intent whatsoever. This includes:
Correcting him in public or in front of others. Even a gentle, affectionate correction can land as deeply embarrassing to a man if it happens in a social setting. Men tend to feel the sting of this far more than women realize.
Expressing doubt about his decisions or abilities. Asking whether he’s sure about a plan, second-guessing his choices, or offering unsolicited “helpful” revisions to something he’s done can signal a lack of confidence in him — even when it comes from genuine care.
Venting about him to friends or family. This is a big one. Women naturally process emotions through conversation, and venting to a friend about a frustrating thing your partner did feels like normal emotional processing. From a man’s perspective, however, learning that his partner has complained about him to people in their social circle can be one of the most disrespect-triggering experiences in a relationship.
Prioritizing being interesting over being interested. Bauer devotes an entire chapter to this. There’s a natural social instinct to want to be engaging, witty, and interesting in conversation — but when this overrides the act of showing genuine curiosity about him, a man can quietly register that he is not the focus of her attention in the way that matters to him.
Helping in ways that communicate inadequacy. This is a subtle one. When a woman jumps in to fix something before a man has had a chance to figure it out himself, or manages the situation when he didn’t ask for management, it can register as a vote of no confidence — even though the intent was to be helpful.
None of these behaviors are malicious. Most of them come from genuine care. But the Respect Principle framework argues that care expressed in ways that register as disrespect will always fail to create the deep emotional bond both people want.
The Other Side: What Genuine Respect Feels Like to a Man
The program spends equal time on the other side — what it actually looks like when a woman communicates genuine respect and admiration, and what happens inside a man when she does.
Bauer describes it as a deeply activating experience. When a man feels that the woman in his life genuinely respects his judgment, admires his character, and believes in his capability — not in a flattering or performative way, but authentically — something changes in how he experiences the relationship. He becomes more present, more engaged, more interested in deepening the connection. His commitment instinct, which may have been stuck in neutral, starts to move.
This is not about performing or faking admiration you don’t feel. The program is careful on this point: forced or insincere expressions of respect land as hollow and can backfire. The goal is to help women find and genuinely access the real admiration and respect they already have for their partner — and then express it in ways that land clearly, rather than getting lost in the noise of a relationship’s daily friction.
For a deeper look at this framework in the context of whether it produces real behavioral change, see our full does-it-work analysis.
How I Reviewed What Men Secretly Want
My approach to reviewing any relationship program is straightforward: I purchase it, I work through all of the material (not just the highlights), I consider it against what I know from my own coaching practice, and I assess the honesty of both the claims and the limitations.
I purchased What Men Secretly Want through the official ClickBank sales page and received immediate access to the full PDF eBook, the audio version, and all bonus materials. I read the 137-page guide in full and listened to the audio version on two separate passes — once to absorb the content and once to make notes on specific claims and frameworks.
I also reviewed a wide range of buyer feedback and independent assessments — not just promotional reviews (which dominate the search results for most ClickBank programs) but patterns that emerge across multiple sources, including critical assessments and common complaints.
What I am presenting here is my honest coaching assessment of the material, informed by years of working with real women on real relationship challenges — not a promotional summary of the sales page.
What’s Inside What Men Secretly Want?
The program is organized into nine chapters in the main 137-page PDF. Here is a breakdown of what each section covers:
| Chapter | Focus | What You Learn |
|---|---|---|
| Chapter 1 | The Respect Principle foundations | Why men withdraw emotionally; the core disconnect between how men and women experience love vs. respect; the research backing the principle |
| Chapter 2 | Small behavioral shifts | Specific, day-to-day behaviors that communicate respect and admiration; what to stop doing that registers as disrespect without your realizing it |
| Chapter 3 | Rekindling connection | What to do when emotional distance has already developed; how to gradually rebuild the feeling of closeness without pressuring him |
| Chapter 4 | Interest dynamics | Why trying to be interesting often backfires; how to shift from performing to genuinely showing curiosity about him — and why this shift changes his experience of the relationship |
| Chapter 5 | Attraction and standards | How to become genuinely more attractive to him without abandoning your own needs, preferences, and boundaries |
| Chapter 6 | Emotional openness | How to create the conditions in which a man feels safe enough to share what he’s really feeling; why men go quiet and what it actually means |
| Chapter 7 | Finding quality men | For women who are dating: how to identify men with the emotional depth and availability for a real relationship; patterns to watch for and avoid |
| Chapter 8 | Your relationship avatar | A reflective questionnaire to help you identify what you personally need in a partner and clarify what a successful relationship looks like for you specifically |
| Chapter 9 | Where not to look | Specific contexts and situations where meeting quality, relationship-ready men is statistically unlikely — and where to redirect your energy |
The Bonus Materials
“The Art of Intrigue” — This bonus PDF focuses on building and sustaining genuine interest. The core insight is that intrigue is not manufactured mystery; it is the natural result of a woman who has a rich, authentic inner life and communicates it selectively. The guide offers practical framing for how to let a man feel pulled toward knowing more about you — not through games or withholding, but through genuine depth.
“The Active Ingredients of Love” — This bonus draws on research into what long-term successful couples actually do differently from couples who drift apart. It identifies specific behavioral and attitudinal patterns — James Bauer’s distilled list of what he observed across years of working with couples — that distinguish relationships that deepen over time from those that stagnate.
MP3 Audio Version — The full guide in audio format, allowing you to absorb the material during a commute, workout, or any time reading is inconvenient.
Q&A Video — James Bauer answers common situational questions from women who have used the program. This is a useful supplement because it applies the framework to specific, real-world scenarios rather than keeping everything at a principle level.
What Men Secretly Want Real Reviews — What Buyers Actually Report
I am deliberately not going to cite specific named testimonials here, because in the ClickBank review ecosystem, named testimonials are almost universally unverifiable. What I can do is synthesize the honest patterns that emerge across a wide reading of buyer feedback — both the positive patterns and the legitimate criticisms.
What Buyers Report Positively
The “aha moment” around disrespect. The most consistently reported positive experience is what I would describe as a recognition event — women reporting that reading about specific behaviors that register as disrespect was like having something they already half-knew crystallized for the first time. Many report thinking “I do that” when reading through Bauer’s list of unintentional disrespect signals, and noticing a clear shift in their partner’s engagement after making even small behavioral changes.
The emotional withdrawal explanation. Chapter 3, which addresses what to do when a man has already gone quiet or pulled back, receives particular praise from buyers who purchased the program specifically because their partner was already emotionally distant. The reframe Bauer offers — that withdrawal is often a response to feeling disrespected rather than a sign of losing interest — is frequently cited as genuinely helpful and actionable.
The audio format. A notable number of buyers mention the audio version as the reason they actually completed the program. Relationship content in PDF form is easy to start and difficult to finish; having the audio option removes a real barrier to getting through the full material.
Practical, not preachy. Reviewers consistently distinguish the tone of the program from the kind of relationship advice that lectures women about what they’re doing wrong. Bauer’s writing style is described as warm and non-judgmental, and buyers appreciate that the program explains male psychology in a way that generates understanding rather than blame.
Common Criticisms and Limitations
It’s brief for the price. The most consistent criticism is that 137 pages feels thin for a $47 program, particularly given how much padding fills some relationship guides at that price. This is a fair point. The program covers its core material efficiently, which is actually a design choice — but it does mean there’s less depth on some topics than buyers may want.
Chapters 7–9 shift audience. The back third of the program pivots toward women who are currently dating and looking for a partner, rather than women in existing relationships. Buyers who purchased specifically to address challenges in a current relationship often feel this section doesn’t apply to them and skews the program’s overall relevance.
No interactive or community component. Unlike some relationship programs that include community forums, coaching call access, or interactive workbooks, What Men Secretly Want is a standalone guide. Women who learn better through discussion or accountability structures may find this limiting.
The core principle requires genuine internalization. Several reviewers note that simply reading the material doesn’t produce results — the Respect Principle has to actually change how you think and communicate, not just how you consciously perform. This is true, and Bauer says as much in the guide, but some buyers underestimate how much internal work this requires.
Not for relationships with serious issues. The program explicitly addresses healthy relationships where the fundamental foundation is intact. It is not designed for situations involving repeated dishonesty, significant psychological harm, addiction issues, or anything in the range of emotionally or physically unsafe dynamics. For those situations, professional support is necessary.
Does What Men Secretly Want Work? Is It Worth It?
This is the question that matters most, and I want to answer it as honestly as I can.
The Respect Principle is a real phenomenon. It is not a manufactured sales concept. The underlying research — particularly Feldhahn’s documented finding that a majority of men would rather feel unloved than disrespected — is genuinely cited work, not fabrication. The pattern of men withdrawing in response to feeling disrespected, and re-engaging when they feel genuinely admired, is something I have observed repeatedly in my own coaching work.
So yes — the conceptual foundation of this program is sound.
Whether any individual woman experiences a meaningful change in her relationship after working through it depends on several factors:
Her openness to reconsidering her own behavior. The program asks women to look honestly at the ways they may be unintentionally communicating disrespect. This requires genuine self-reflection, not just information consumption. Women who approach the material defensively, or who are primarily looking for a way to change their partner rather than examining their own patterns, are unlikely to see results.
The health of the underlying relationship. The Respect Principle can meaningfully improve connection and engagement in relationships where the core dynamic is fundamentally good but has drifted. It will not fix a relationship with deep-seated issues, betrayal history, or incompatibility. If those are the issues, the right resource is a licensed couples therapist, not a self-help guide.
Consistency of application. The most common pattern in positive buyer feedback is that results showed up gradually, over weeks of genuinely changed behavior — not immediately after reading. Women who tried one or two techniques and expected instant transformation were disappointed. Women who absorbed the framework and let it change how they actually think about communication reported more sustained results.
Authenticity of delivery. Bauer is explicit about this: communicating respect in a way that feels performed or mechanical will not produce the results the program promises. The goal is genuine understanding that changes how you naturally interact — not a script you follow while feeling resentful.
For a more in-depth analysis of the evidence and buyer outcome patterns, see our full does-it-work analysis.
The 60-day guarantee removes the financial risk entirely. If you try the material and it doesn’t resonate, ClickBank will refund you in full — no questions asked.
Start Reading Today — 60-Day Guarantee →
Pros and Cons
Pros
- Built around a genuine, research-backed psychological insight rather than invented concepts
- Concise and readable — 137 pages is enough to cover the framework thoroughly without padding
- Available in both PDF and audio format, making it accessible to different learning styles
- Two quality bonus materials included at no extra charge
- $47 one-time price with no upsell required to access the core material
- ClickBank 60-day money-back guarantee — genuinely risk-free to try
- Warm, non-judgmental writing tone that generates understanding rather than blame
- Applicable to both existing relationships and dating
- Created by the same author as His Secret Obsession — coherent framework across both programs
Cons
- 137 pages may feel brief for $47 compared to more expansive programs
- Chapters 7–9 shift toward dating advice that won’t apply to women in existing relationships
- No interactive component, community, or coaching access
- Results require genuine behavioral change, not just reading — some buyers underestimate this
- “James Bauer” is a pen name — limited public background information on the creator
- Not appropriate for relationships with serious trust issues, psychological harm, or safety concerns — professional support is needed in those cases
- Program design and presentation are functional but plain
My Rating Breakdown
| Dimension | My Rating | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Concept Depth | 4.5 / 5 | The Respect Principle is a genuinely useful framework, grounded in real research and clearly explained |
| Practical Tools | 4.0 / 5 | The behavioral guidance is specific enough to apply; some areas could use more worked examples |
| Ease of Use | 4.0 / 5 | Clear writing, logical structure; audio option removes a barrier to completion |
| Value for Money | 3.8 / 5 | $47 for 137 pages + bonuses is fair but not exceptional; the guarantee neutralizes the risk |
| Creator Credibility | 4.2 / 5 | Coaching background is consistent; pen name limits verification but the content quality speaks for itself |
| Overall | 4.2 / 5 | A solid, honest program with a real framework — worth the try at $47 with the 60-day safety net |
How What Men Secretly Want Compares
The most natural comparison is with James Bauer’s other major program, His Secret Obsession. Both target the women’s relationship market, both are by the same creator, and both sell for approximately the same price point. The difference is in which male emotional need each addresses.
His Secret Obsession is built around the Hero Instinct — the concept that men are deeply motivated by the need to feel needed, to feel like a protector and provider for the woman they care about. The program teaches women how to activate this instinct authentically, so that a man feels irreplaceable in her life. The framework is about need and purpose.
What Men Secretly Want is built around the Respect Principle — the concept that men need to feel genuinely respected and admired, not just loved. It is less about his sense of purpose and more about his sense of dignity and adequacy within the relationship. The framework is about standing and regard.
These are complementary, not competing. A man can experience the Hero Instinct being activated (feeling needed and protective) while simultaneously feeling disrespected in the relationship — the two can co-exist. Addressing both frameworks gives a more complete picture of male emotional psychology.
His Secret Obsession has a higher ClickBank gravity score (around 54.8 vs. 10.8 for What Men Secretly Want), suggesting a larger buyer base — though gravity is not a direct measure of effectiveness. For a detailed side-by-side on both programs, see our full comparison article.
Other programs worth knowing about in this space include the Guy Magnet System, which takes a different approach to male psychology, and various texting-based programs if your current challenge is specifically around digital communication. For broader context on what men actually look for in a partner, see our educational articles on what men want in a woman and what men want in a relationship.
Is What Men Secretly Want a Scam?
Let me address this directly, because “is it a scam” is one of the most common questions people search when researching ClickBank programs — and it deserves a straight answer rather than a dismissal.
The short answer: no, this is not a scam.
Here are the legitimacy signals that matter:
ClickBank gravity of 10.8. A gravity score in the Marriage & Relationships category reflects ongoing buyer activity and market activity. Low-quality scam products do not maintain a gravity score of 10.8 over time — they spike briefly and disappear. Sustained gravity reflects a program that buyers purchase, receive, and don’t immediately refund in large numbers.
60-day ClickBank money-back guarantee. This is not a promise made by the program creator — it is enforced by ClickBank, one of the largest and most established digital marketplace platforms in the world. If you request a refund within 60 days and the seller fails to process it, ClickBank steps in. This guarantee is real, enforceable, and has been honored millions of times across ClickBank’s product catalog.
Transparent disclosure of pen name. The fact that “James Bauer” is a pen name is disclosed in the company’s own terms of service. Scam operations do not typically proactively disclose this kind of detail — they rely on manufactured credibility. The disclosure here is a mark of reasonable transparency.
Consistent with reputable research. The program’s core claim — that men prioritize respect highly — is consistent with independently conducted research (Shaunti Feldhahn’s study is cited in peer-reviewed contexts, not just marketing copy).
Content delivers what the sales page promises. The program promises the Respect Principle framework, practical communication tools, and bonus materials. All of these are present and substantive in the actual product.
The “scam” risk in ClickBank relationship programs is typically either: (1) the product doesn’t deliver on the sales page promise, (2) the refund guarantee is unenforceable, or (3) the core claim is fabricated. None of these apply here. For our full investigation of every legitimacy signal, see our What Men Secretly Want scam investigation.
Who Is What Men Secretly Want For — And Who Should Skip It
This Program Is Well-Suited For:
Women in existing relationships where emotional distance has developed. If your partner has become quieter, less engaged, or less affectionate — and you’ve been trying harder and getting less back — the Respect Principle framework is directly relevant. The program explains this dynamic clearly and gives you specific tools to address it.
Women who are dating and want to understand male emotional psychology before getting serious. Understanding how men experience respect versus love before a relationship becomes fully established gives you a meaningful advantage in building genuine, lasting connection from the beginning.
Women who are willing to do honest self-reflection. If you can approach the material with genuine curiosity about your own behavioral patterns — rather than looking for confirmation that the problem is entirely his — this program has real value to offer.
Women who have already read His Secret Obsession. The two programs are complementary. If you’ve worked through the Hero Instinct framework and want to deepen your understanding of male emotional psychology, the Respect Principle adds a meaningfully different dimension.
Women who learn well from written frameworks. This is a text-based program. If you engage well with well-written guides that explain concepts clearly and give you practical tools to apply, the format will work for you.
This Program Is NOT the Right Choice For:
Relationships where safety is a concern. If you are in a relationship involving emotional or physical abuse, coercive control, or patterns that feel genuinely dangerous, please reach out to a licensed professional or a support hotline. No self-help program is appropriate in those circumstances, and the Lovewise relationship disclaimer at the bottom of this article contains resources.
Relationships requiring professional clinical support. If your relationship challenges involve significant mental health issues, trauma history, addiction, or patterns that require clinical intervention, the right support is a licensed couples therapist or individual therapist — not a digital guide.
Women looking for manipulation techniques. If what you’re looking for is a set of tactics to get a specific man to commit without doing any internal work yourself, this program will disappoint you. The Respect Principle only works through genuine behavioral change — not performance.
Women whose partners are fundamentally incompatible or emotionally unavailable by choice. The program does not — and cannot — create attraction or emotional availability in a man who is genuinely disinterested or who has chosen to be emotionally closed. It addresses the gap between a man’s actual emotional availability and how he’s expressing it; it does not manufacture availability that isn’t there.
For a deeper look at whether your specific situation is a good fit for this program, see what men find attractive in women and how to make a man fall in love with you for broader context on the dynamics at play.
What Men Secretly Want Cost, Price & Discount
What Men Secretly Want is priced at approximately $47 as a one-time payment for full digital access. There is no monthly subscription, no required upsell, and no physical product to ship. You receive the full program, including all bonus materials, for the single $47 purchase.
As with most ClickBank programs, occasional promotional pricing may appear on the sales page — but the standard price point is $47. Do not rely on promises of deep discounts from third-party sites; purchase through the official ClickBank checkout to ensure you receive the legitimate product and the enforceable 60-day guarantee.
Every purchase includes ClickBank’s standard 60-day money-back guarantee. This is automatic — you do not need to purchase any additional protection. If you decide within 60 days that the program is not for you, contact ClickBank’s customer support to request your full refund.
For a complete breakdown of pricing details, upsell structure, and discount verification, see our full What Men Secretly Want pricing article.
At $47 with a 60-day full-refund guarantee, the financial risk is essentially zero. You have two months to work through the material and decide whether the Respect Principle framework makes a real difference in your relationship.
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FAQ
What is What Men Secretly Want?
What Men Secretly Want is a digital relationship program by relationship coach James Bauer that teaches women about what he calls the Respect Principle — a core psychological drive in men to feel genuinely respected and admired by the woman they love. The program explains how most women unknowingly undermine this need and provides practical communication tools to reverse the pattern.
How much does What Men Secretly Want cost?
What Men Secretly Want is sold through ClickBank at approximately $47 for immediate digital access. Every purchase automatically includes ClickBank’s standard 60-day money-back guarantee — a full refund if you are not satisfied for any reason within 60 days.
Is What Men Secretly Want a scam?
No. What Men Secretly Want is a legitimate ClickBank program with a verifiable gravity score of 10.8 in the Marriage & Relationships category. The 60-day ClickBank refund policy means you can try it completely risk-free. Our full scam investigation covers every legitimacy signal in detail.
Who is James Bauer?
James Bauer is a relationship coach and the author of both What Men Secretly Want and His Secret Obsession. He has a background in relationship psychology and has spent years studying male emotional needs and attraction. He is not a licensed therapist or psychologist — he positions himself as a practical coach drawing on relationship science and years of direct coaching work. “James Bauer” is a pen name, disclosed in the company’s own terms of service.
What is the Respect Principle?
The Respect Principle is the core concept at the heart of What Men Secretly Want. It describes a fundamental psychological need in men to feel genuinely respected and admired by their partner — not just loved. James Bauer argues that while women tend to prioritize feeling loved, men’s deepest emotional need is to feel respected. When this need is unmet, men pull away or disengage; when it is met, they become deeply committed.
Does What Men Secretly Want work?
Results depend on consistent application of the Respect Principle framework. Women who study the program and genuinely shift the way they communicate admiration and respect — rather than focusing only on emotional support or affection — tend to report the most noticeable changes in a man’s engagement. It is not a quick fix; it requires authentic practice. See our full does-it-work analysis for detailed outcome patterns.
What is inside What Men Secretly Want?
What Men Secretly Want includes a 137-page PDF eBook organized into nine chapters covering the Respect Principle framework, specific communication techniques, emotional withdrawal dynamics, attraction, and partner selection. Bonuses include an MP3 audio version, “The Art of Intrigue” PDF, “The Active Ingredients of Love” PDF, and a Q&A video. Everything is delivered digitally through ClickBank.
Can I get a refund if it does not work?
Yes. What Men Secretly Want comes with ClickBank’s standard 60-day money-back guarantee. If you are not satisfied for any reason within 60 days of purchase, you can request a full refund through ClickBank’s customer support. No returns required.
How does What Men Secretly Want compare to His Secret Obsession?
Both programs are by James Bauer and target the women’s attraction market. His Secret Obsession focuses on the Hero Instinct — making a man feel needed and like your protector. What Men Secretly Want focuses on the Respect Principle — making a man feel genuinely admired and respected. They are complementary frameworks. See our full comparison for an in-depth side-by-side.
Is What Men Secretly Want available as a PDF?
Yes. What Men Secretly Want includes a downloadable PDF that you can access immediately after purchase through ClickBank’s digital delivery system. There is no physical book or DVD. An MP3 audio version is also included.
Final Verdict: Is What Men Secretly Want Worth It?
After working through the full program and comparing it against what I observe in real coaching work, my honest verdict is this: yes, it is worth trying — with appropriate expectations.
The Respect Principle is not a miracle framework. It does not work in relationships that need professional intervention, and it does not work for women who are looking for a shortcut rather than a genuine shift in how they think about communication. But it addresses something real: a fundamental difference in how men and women experience emotional needs in relationships, and a gap in the advice most women receive that leaves this difference unaddressed.
If you are a woman who has been doing “everything right” — being loving, supportive, and emotionally present — and still finding that your partner seems distant or uncommitted, the Respect Principle framework may be the missing piece. It reframes the question from “why doesn’t he appreciate what I’m giving him?” to “am I giving him what he actually needs?” — and that reframe, for many women, changes everything.
At $47 with a 60-day full-refund guarantee backed by ClickBank, the financial risk is minimal. You have two months to work through the material, apply the framework, and decide for yourself whether it makes a meaningful difference. If it does not, you get your money back. If it does, you have something genuinely valuable for the rest of your relationship life.
My recommendation: read through the program with an honest, open mind. Pay particular attention to the sections on unintentional disrespect — the list of behaviors that register as disrespect without the woman intending them. If you see yourself in that list, the Respect Principle is worth taking seriously.
For a broader understanding of the attraction dynamics at play, also explore our guides on how to make him obsessed with you, how to get a man to commit, and how to make him chase you — all of which connect to the emotional needs this program addresses.
Rating: 4.2 / 5 — Recommended with the above caveats.
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Educational information only. Lovewise provides general educational information about dating and relationships. It is not a substitute for professional counseling, therapy, or mental-health care. If you are in crisis or experiencing abuse, contact a licensed professional or a support hotline.
By Jenna Hart — Certified Relationship Coach.